May 19, 2017

I don’t know what title should I put here so date it is.
Things have been very rough for me the last two weeks, therefore I think I need a break from all this madness. I need to go back to my hometown. I need to see some people who actually care enough about me.

The thing is, the madness is in my head. I can’t bring my body out, when my mind feel so dormant. I am really sure that the hormones are in charge here. Sometimes I feel like I’d like to open up my brain and see what’s going on there.

Social media is really a very bad decision for me. I shall never look into the social media when I’m not well. I see how well people are doing and ignoring me, especially those call themselves friend.

I hate reaching out, because when I do I put trust on those people, and then they just abandon me. I see this so many times that’s why I feel that I should seek professional help. The so called “friends” aid I shouldn’t because it’ll appear in my records but what can I do when they abandon me like this?

So, today is another day that I’m struggling. I am feeling so guilty to talk to my mother. Maybe I should just give up everything…

Hello world!

If you’re familar with programming, hello world is normally the first thing we try to program when we start learning programming language. Well, at least it’s true in my case.

I’m a bit lost of why did I create this blog in the first place. Therefore I’ve been abandoning it for the past year. I still have 3 draft which I create but haven’t publish yet, so I guess i’s time to pick up where I left off.

My main reason is to create a workspace for me, and also help me organize my thought. I plan to write one day. To be a published writer, but I notice how difficult for me to keep my motivation to write alive. Then, there’s some uncertainty for me whether to write in English or in Malay. I’m just not that good with both. I also, in need of keeping a journal (not counting the few I have handwritten and spread around at home).

I guess this shall not be a very long entry, it will be boring. I just wish I’m as funny as some guy I found on twitter though.

So, that’s that. My first entry.